Dear Lord and Lady of Creation;

I stand before you in this dark time,
And entrust to your great care my light –
Behold My Grandfather, Lyle Perry, whose smile was brighter than the sun,
Whose delight was in things both great and small,
Who loved completely, and was loved completely.
Whose life will be taken much to soon 

I pray you welcome him into the Summerland,
And that he might rest in your great house.
I pray you will keep his smile bright while he is away from his family here on earth,
That one day we may be together again.
I pray you keep my family strong and patient in this time of great darkness,
And grant us the strength to live without him when the time has come for him to venture home.      As I’m sure he would bid us all to smile.
Grant us all the strength celebrate the life he had,
For there are many who love him,
And many shall speak his name with fondness.

My Lord and Lady,

I ask you to from my heart to offer comfort in many forms
Comfort to my family and to my Grandfathers Friends which he loves undoubtedly.
Bless him, in his time of suffering and bless our family who suffer with him and all those close to him and our family.

Guide us through this darkness and –
Bless us for our Anger, for it is a sign of Rising Energy.
remind us to direct it not at our family, and waste not on our enemy.
But Transform the energy into Versatility so it will bring  prosperity.

Bless us for the times we see evil.
Evil is energy mishandled and it feeds on our support.
Feed it not and it will self destruct. Shed light and it will cease to be.

Bless us for our jealousy, for it is a sign of empathy.
remind us to Direct it not at family. Direct it not at  friends.
but instead Transform the energy to Admiration, and what you admire will become a
part of your life.

help us to Count our blessings everyday for they are the protection which stands
between us and what we wish not.

Count our curses for us, so that we will not be a wall which stands between us  and what we wish.

I will it to be so, with my heart open, my ears willing and my shoulders strong

Blessed Be ♥∞♥

(sorry Gramma, I had to get it out)


Dear Little Brother (A.W.P)


My Brother, Adam W. Perry

Dear Little Brother, 

I’m writing now to tell the world how proud I am of you. I have watched you grow from a wild seed attracted to fire and tormenting our little sister, into this wonderful giving, loving, honorable man who is selfless, hard-working, and caring. You have been pummeled by my fists, caught a spatula between your two front teeth and slammed into door frames when you annoyed me. But as I look back, I chuckle at how well you handled all of it, you and your bad ‘lil ass!

Mr. Navy Man, uniform all dressed in blue, our American flag waves now and I think of you…. Little brother. Emotions welling up, fears choking me, the distance setting in before your even gone. I miss you already…

But I want you to know, that I love you. I am so proud of the man you have become. The family values that have come to be instilled into your veins, and the charming smile across your handsome face… a memory that will always remain.

Be safe, call often, and tell our mother you love her at least once a week no matter what. (gramma too). Don’t forget where you come from, don’t forget where we’ve been, don’t forget your hardships, it’s what keeps you true, within.

Farewell to Alaska,

All my love,

Big (lil) sister.

Me and my (big) lil brother.

Me & Adam 2006

The Cube (Psychology Test)

It is preferable for you to draw a picture and write your answers.

Try to concentrate on how you feel about what you are describing and not just on how it looks. For example, you may describe the cube a certain color because it gives you a feeling of calmness. However, another person may describe the cube a different color that also gives her a sense of calmness. Though both people picture the cube differently, the interpretations of their answers are the same – the cube represents calmness to them.

1) The cube

How big is the cube?
What is its color? What do you think about that color?
How far away is it from you?
Is it transparent? Can you see what is inside?
How big is the cube compared to the desert? What is the ratio?

2) There is a ladder.

Is the ladder leaning on the cube?
What is the color of the ladder? What is it made of?
What impression does it give you?
What is the distance between the cube and the ladder?

3) There is a horse.

What is the distance between the cube and the horse?
What is the color of the house?
What impression does it give you?
Is it tied? Is there a saddle?

4) There is a storm.

What is the distance between the storm and the cube.
Is it a big storm or a small storm?
Is it passing by or staying?

5) There is a flower/ there are flowers.

How many flowers are there?
Where is/are the flower/s?
What is the color of the flower/s?
How do you feel about the flower/s?

Ok – Now comment and leave me your answers. I will Email you with the results :O)

December is Near: Response to a post on Face Book

Well, I can tell December is about to bore its head. The “status” moster has already begun. Here is a post that I see every year:

“I don’t wanna hear happy holidays, or season’s greetings! If you can’t wish me a “MERRY CHRISTMAS” then don’t wish me anything at all! If you agree, and believe in Christ, copy and paste this as your status! MERRY CHRISTMAS from my house to yours!!! After all, JESUS is the reason for the season, ‘nough said!!!!”

(reposted from Notes on my Facebook page) VIEW ON FB HERE
This was posted on my Facebook page by a friend. It got me to thinking about a few things. and these are my thoughts on it.

First I want to say for whatever reason – Why should anyone be restricted or silenced to greet anyone with a season greeting whether it is “merry christmas” Happy Holiday “Blessed Yule”  Happy Yom Kippur or any other denomination of holiday cheer? IF a little happy Jewish lady wishes you a Happy Hanukkah and your christian for instance, why can’t you, as a christian be kind to her and say merry christmas to her. She will not be offended. I know… I’ve done it, and I consider myself neither. Why not say happy Hanukkah back? What is wrong with being jewish? Or Christian? Or Wiccan? Why must we all hate on the faith of the other? I find it so very nauseating.

My next thought is… from the line of the post “Jesus is the reason for the season”

First of all, honoring christ; in celebrating christmas it is actually dishonoring him.
Christ said, “But in vain they do worship Me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men” (Matt. 15:9). Christmas is not a command of God—it is a tradition of men. Christ continued, “Full well you reject the commandment of God, that you may keep your own tradition” (Mark 7:9). Every year, throughout the world, on December 25th, hundreds of millions do just that! (myself included, but not in celebration of christ, although that was how I was raised)

second, Luke 2:8 explains that when Christ was born, “And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.” Note that they were “abiding” in the field. This never happened in December. Both Ezra 10:9-13 and the Song of Solomon 2:11 show that winter was the rainy season and shepherds could not stay on cold, open fields at night.

not to mention that several encyclopedias simply state that Christ was not born on or near december 25th. So tell me again, why is december the season of christ?

Now, in the pagan festival, Saturnalia, (december 17th-24th) also known for the merry-making, gift exchanging time of the german and celtic Yule, December 25th can be noted as the birth of the Iranian mystery god, Mithra or the sun of Righteousness. food, and entertaining, yule logs, and cakes fir trees gifts of the winter festival have all been tradition of the pagan and christian religions, but not because of the birth of christ.

I don’t know why I decided to blurt all this out. I just got a little perturbed I guess. I don’t knock Christians, Or Jews, or Any other religious denominations, I just find it very displeasing to be told how to express a greeting of a holiday that is not as cut and dry as people would like to believe. Celebrate the birth of christ, but I will continue to wish my blessings of a merry Yule, blessed Yule, Joyous Yule, Happy frigging winter solstice!

Get mad… But I still wish you all a wonderful holiday season, no matter what your cheerful for.

Blessed be.


(Seasonal Affective Disorder)Also known as SAD is a mental disorder from which I suffer yearly. I use to think I was just weak-minded, and couldn’t get past the many great losses I have come to endure over the years. Although I have; over the years, Done my very best to curb my raging verbal emesis during this period of time, stuffing all my feelings and emotions inside myself, so not to effect the ones I love, it’s not so easy. Hearing a song can put me on my knees in uncontrollable tears for the intense overwhelming distress I feel inside. Sometimes I think I have survivors guilt. I have not been the most morally focused person over the years, especially when I was young, but still at the age of 30, I wonder what the higher powers were thinking when they took such wonderful souls to the Summerland and left me here to climb wall after wall to get to my next obstacle in life.

The trial and tribulations that I have watched my family endure and hurdle with ease leave me wondering where they gain such strength. Is making my own way my down fall? Should I walk the same straight line as everyone else? I don’t see how that would matter in the end.

This year, The dark season began early for me. Being unable to be with my family and close friends on the holiday’s has made me feel trapped, and alone. I know I am not trapped, and I am far from alone, however, being so far from the ones that love me unconditionally, and care for me regardless of my past errors, and who love me for me, flaws and all, Hurts more than being stabbed in the face with a dull knife so hard that it rips the skin and nearly un-fixable. Of course, I have never been stabbed in the face but I can imagine that having it done with a dull knife would be much more painful than a sharp one.

For so many years, I went off and did my own thing. I still do that now, but I try to make it a point to be with my family over holidays, call my grandmother, mother and brothers and sisters as often as I can without feeling like I’m a family stalker. I just don’t want to ever feel like I havent said I love you enough, Or be able to show them the appreciation that they all deserve. I never really said goodbye to Uncle Merle, Sammy, or Gramma Hazel. It’s a regret I carry deep inside of me.

My friends, They are much like my family. All far away from me, but so close in heart. I can’t see them, or hug them, or cry on their shoulders. I can’t go over for dinner, Drop in just because I was thinking about them, or watch the Steelers game over a round of wings and Bacardi. I miss them all so much. So it’s hard for me to be here, so far away, and watch everyone else pick up the phone and have everyone they love here in a matter of moments. Just a whistle or a nod, and all their friends and family are standing in arms reach. It’s hard, because I rarely get to do this. And understanding seems to be lacking. After all, How can one understand if they have never had to be so far away. I guess I don’t have to be… so far away from my loves, but as it stands, My Love… would never leave his loves. (so understandable) So, I will sacrifice and feel the infliction of the distance, so that he can have his. I guess that’s love. And what is love without a little bit of misery?

All Of This Past

Out with the old, in with the new! (Yes, I realize its not quite the New Year but who said we couldn’t start early?) As most of you may be aware, my previous Blog has been disabled. This is not for any other reason than I rarely visit “MySpace” unless it is to post a status; which we all know can be done with the push of a button from other social networks now. Although I have kept the MySpace account opened, this is currently where I will share my thoughts and feelings, and of course, any updates on my future book publications.

Speaking of “out with the old in with the new” I wanted to let everyone know that due to some recent happenings, I have been writing some new material, which will be added to my next book. (Verbal Emesis)

I have been fighting with the demons in my head, trying to find my way. Sometimes my feelings get in the way of what I know is the right choice and I end up hurting myself over and over again. I know that somehow, this all could be avoided if I just stick to my guns and move on. I know that the “idea” of love (be it friendly or otherwise) can be hard to unveil.  Feelings and logic rarely run parallel, and especially when we are young, our feelings easily overshadow our logic and cause us undue pain and confusion. As a grown woman, I have come to find this to be so, passions run much deeper in adolescence and if not given the proper care can fatally inflict a young heart.

I’ve always been an overly passionate person, so trying to find my logical mind is definitely a new concept for me. But with the help of some very dear friends, paper, and a pen, I am sure to find my way.  Again, Thank you all for your love and support.

Blessed Be,

❤ Amber

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Blogs; Unlike Poetry

Just a quick note, that this area will be where I update, and rant and rave and verbally emesize. My book publishing’s can be ordered at Sign up and stay tuned for my ramblings.

❤ Amber